3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize