Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
now i know why i became what i already was.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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