I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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