I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
