So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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