Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
