Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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