we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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