Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
