i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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