just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
