u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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