"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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