I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
