How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sacagawea was the original milf.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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