The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
