You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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