I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
