I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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