those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time