can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
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Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.