can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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