One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
