His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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