just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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