Where is the hickey?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
People in love make me want to vomit
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
