she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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