so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize