then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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