With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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