If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
