Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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