wat bout pragnant strippers??
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize