First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
