thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize