no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
