the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
