people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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