halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
