Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize