the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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