im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
