we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
