Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
