And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize