hotel room ftw
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
