I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
