I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
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Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
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I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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