listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
