Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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