what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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