dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
