Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
