I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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