Soap is not a condiment
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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