I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
