i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
