That's intense
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
