i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
