The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
