I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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